Aging Begins at 30

Piles

Anglo-Saxon or Old English are down-to-earth languages. Latin and Greek English words are much more delicate, clean, and obscure.

Now some words about terminal events. Anus comes from the Anglo-Saxon word to sit and is technically the terminal orifice of the gut (another Anglo-Saxon word for entrails). But piles and hemorrhoids are derived from Latin and Greek. Hemorrhoids are dilated veins on or within the anus between the body's two venous systems; the body-wide or systemic network and the portal venous system that drains the viscera the porta or gate to the liver.

Most commonly, hemorrhoids cause bright red blood on defecation (Latin) or stooling (Anglo-Saxon) on the surface of the stool, in the toilet, or on the toilet paper (French). Pain (Old French) is not common but can occur when the pile is strangulated or clotted. Hemorrhoids come in four degrees, 1) small without protrusion, 2) slipping out on stooling but returnable, 3) do not return spontaneously after stooling but can be replaced, and 4) those that hang out all the time.

The problem for the doctor is to determine if the hemorrhoids are there on their own or are hiding or mimicking other problems such as anal fissure (a painful anal crack), cancer, abscess, or Crohn's disease (segmental relapsing colon inflammation). The hemorrhoids ocur in three locations: left side, right back, or right front locations and should be looked at. The lower gut can be seen with an anoscope (skopeo to look at), a sigmoidoscope or colonoscope or by a barium enema (Greek to inject).

Treatment is easy as the hemorrhoids can be strangled (by a special rubber band), fried by cautery, frozen by a cryoprobe (cryo cold in Greek), by injection sclerosed (Greek hardening) or hardening solution (Anglo-Saxon), or cut out as in a hemorrhoidectomy (from tome a cutting). High fiber, high fluid diet, stool softener, and prompt response to the call to stool all help alleviate symptoms.

When the shit is bloody (both Anglo-Saxon words), hemorrhoids are symptomatic (Latin and Greek words) go see your doctor (Old French word) who will send you to the surgeon (the doctor skilled in handwork from the Greek). Isn't English (from Angul in North Germany) just wonderfully varied. We borrow words from anyone, but Anglo-Saxon (Old English derivation) is best. My great-grandparents spoke it and called it Scottish Doric. Dammit, Doric is a word of Greek derivation!

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See related Patient Topics Digestive System or Hemorrhoids.

See related Provider Topics Digestive System or Hemorrhoids.

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