Pediatrics Common Questions, Quick Answers

Kids and Alcohol

Donna D'Alessandro, M.D.
Lindsay Huth, B.A.
Peer Review Status: Internally Reviewed
Creation Date: January 2002
Last Revision Date: April 2002

• What should I know about kids and alcohol?
• Why would my child be drinking?
• What are some signs of alcohol abuse?
• What can I do if my child is drinking?
• How can alcohol abuse be prevented?
• How can I prepare my child?
• When should I call the doctor?

What should I know about kids and alcohol?

• Experimenting with alcohol can lead to other drug use.
• Parents who are alcoholics place their kids at higher risk for alcohol abuse.
• Alcohol use often leads to risky behaviors. This is especially true for children, who are less experienced at making their own decisions.
• It could lead to drinking and driving, unprotected sex (risk of pregnancy or a sexually transmitted disease), injury, trouble with the law, or other drug use.
• Children may use alcohol to deal with other problems they have. Does your child have another problem in addition to her alcohol use?
• Your own attitude about drinking greatly impacts your child's attitude about drinking.

Why would my child be drinking?

• Children might drink for many different reasons.
• They might drink under peer pressure, to fit in with friends. This is more likely if your child has low self-esteem (she feels bad about herself).
• Children sometimes drink to feel good and relieve stress.
• Drinking could be your child's way of being independent. She may not follow your rules to show you that she can make her own decisions.

What are some signs of alcohol abuse?
If your child shows one of the following signs, it does not necessarily mean she has an alcohol problem. Something else may be wrong. Could your child have an eating disorder? Be depressed? Have some other problem? The biggest warning signal is if your child shows several of these signs:

• Schoolwork or attendance becomes less important.
• Child becomes withdrawn from family or may seem secretive.
• Changes in clothing style and choice of friends.
• Changes in sleeping or eating patterns.
• Often seems tired.
• Has bloodshot eyes.
• Changes in behavior, becoming irritable or depressed.
• Running away from home.
• Suicide attempts.
• Alcohol is missing from home.
• Child smells like alcohol.
• Child has discipline problems at school.
• Child is less interested in usual activities and hobbies.

What can I do if my child is drinking?

• Tell your child that you love her. Tell her why you are concerned.
• Encourage her to get involved with different activities and different friends.
• Do not let her go to places that aren't supervised.
• Have her call home to check in with you.
• Take away freedoms. For example, set an earlier curfew or take away the car.
• Talk to the parents of your child's friends.
• Call the doctor if you have questions or concerns about your child's health.

How can alcohol abuse be prevented?

• Parents can set a good example at home. Alcohol use should be controlled.
• Alcohol should never be used as a way to deal with problems. Model good ways to deal with stress and anger.
• Parents should always drink safely. Do not drink while driving, swimming, or mowing the lawn, for example.
• Don't invite children to drink with you or share your drink with them.
• Show your children that you don't need to drink to have fun. Go to social events where there is no drinking.
• Parents who don't drink should be aware that their children are likely faced with alcohol outside the home. Make your expectations clear.
• Talk to your children about drug use and be open to questions.
• Give your child confidence. Notice the good things she does and praise her.
• Get to know your child's friends.
• Don't let your child go to parties where there will be alcohol or no supervision.
• Have your child check in with you when she is out with friends.
• Reward your child for making good decisions. Let her skip a day of chores or have the car for an extra hour.

How can I prepare my child?

Ages 3-4

• Let your child begin making her own responsible decisions.
• Let her pick out her own outfit, even if it doesn't match.
• Let her know you think she can make good decisions.
• Let her do things to help you and be sure to thank her.

Ages 4-7

• Talk about alcohol in the present. Children this age can't see far into the future.
• Use moments that come up to talk about alcohol. For example, if your family is watching a TV show where kids are drinking, talk to your child about the show.
• Children this age are interested in how the body works. Teach your child how important it is to be healthy. Teach her what alcohol does to her body.

Ages 8-11

• Give your child facts about alcohol.
• Talk about alcohol use. What happens when you use alcohol? How could that affect your future?
• Ask your child what she thinks about alcohol. What do her friends say about it? Friends are very important to children at this age.

Age 12-17

• Your child should know facts about alcohol by this age.
• Continue to make your expectations clear.
• Encourage her to come to you if she has questions or needs help.
• Make it clear to your child that she is never to get in the car with someone who has been drinking.
• Offer your child a ride home from parties or offer a free-call home. Your child can call home and ask for a ride without questions or punishment that night. Discuss it the next day. Praise your child for using this option instead of drinking and driving.
• Offer free rides home to your child's friends, too.
• Teach your child what to do when faced with alcohol. She can say no, leave, call home for a ride, suggest something else to do that doesn't involve drinking, or explain why she doesn't want to drink.
• Make a contract with your family. Everyone promises not to drink and drive or get in the car with someone who has been drinking. Sign the contract.

When should I call the doctor?

• Call the doctor if you think your child has an alcohol problem.
• Call the doctor if you have questions or concerns about your child.

Quick Answers

• Your own attitude about drinking greatly impacts your child's attitude about drinking.
• Children might drink for many different reasons.
• They might drink to fit in with friends or to relieve stress.
• Some signs that your child could have a drinking problem or other problem might include schoolwork or attendance becomes less important, child becomes withdrawn or secretive, changes in clothing style and choice of friends, or changes in sleeping or eating patterns.
• Make your expectations and rules clear. If your child chooses to drink, follow through on what happens when this rule is broken.
• Alcohol should never be used as a way to deal with problems. Model good ways to deal with stress and anger.
• Teach your child what to do when faced with alcohol. She can say no, leave, call home for a ride, or suggest something else to do that doesn't involve drinking.
• Call the doctor if you have questions or concerns about your child.

References

• · American Academy of Pediatrics. Patterns of Alcohol Abuse. Medem. 2000 (cited 2001 December 11). URL: http://www.medem.com/MedLB/article_detaillb_for_printer.cfm?article_ID=ZZZ4J4MVR7C&sub_cat=23
• Rutherford, K MD. Talking to Your Child About Alcohol. KidsHealth. 2001 August (cited 2001 December 11). URL: http://kidshealth.org/parent/positive/talk/alcohol.html

See related Patient Topics Alcohol and Youth, Alcohol Consumption, Alcoholism, Child and Teen Health, Food, Nutrition and Metabolism, Substance Abuse or Teen Health.

See related Provider Topics Child and Teen Health, Food, Nutrition and Metabolism or Teen Health.

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