Good Touch, Bad Touch, Secret Touch: Your Body Belongs to You

Children's Hospital of Iowa
Child Protection Program
First Published: 2003
Last Revised: October 2003
Peer Review Status: Internally Peer Reviewed

You can decide who can touch you, who can kiss you, or who can give you a hug. You have the right to say, "no."

What do you do when someone touches you inappropriately?

• Say no! Tell the person that you don't like it and you don't want to be touched.
• Get away fast! Run away from the person whose touch you don't like. Never stay alone with that person ever again.
• Call for help. You can scream.
• Believe in yourself. You did nothing wrong.

If someone touches you inappropriately, tell someone you trust what has happened. Don't let threats scare you into running away or keeping quiet.

When a person touches you and asks you to keep it a secret between the two of you, ask yourself, "Do I feel comfortable about keeping this secret? Does the secret bother me?"

Don't keep secrets that make you feel uncomfortable. Go to a person you trustÑa parent, a relative, a teacher, or your doctor. If the person you go to doesn't believe you, go to someone else you trust until someone believes you and helps you.

Do everything you can to stay away from the threatening and intimidating person. Don't stay alone with a person who touches you in a way that makes you uncomfortable or makes you feel unsafe.

Good Touch

It feels good to be hugged and kissed by the people you love. For example:

• When Mommy gives you a hug and kiss after you wake up.
• When Daddy gives you a good-night hug and kiss.
• When Grandma and Grandpa come to visit and everyone gets hugs and kisses.

Bad Touch

Touches that make you feel uncomfortable are usually bad touches. You don't have to keep a secret when someone gives you bad touch. Don't feel that you are bad. Whoever gives you a bad touch is the one who is bad, not you. Your body belongs to you. Nobody should touch you if you don't want to be touched.

Do you know what a bad touch is?

• It is a bad touch if it hurts you.
• It is a bad touch if someone touches you on your body where you don't want to be touched.
• It is a bad touch if a person touches you in a way that makes you feel uncomfortable.
• It is a bad touch if that touch makes you feel scared and nervous.
• It is a bad touch if a person forces you to touch him or her.
• It is a bad touch if a person asks you not to tell anyone.
• It is a bad touch if a person threatens to hurt you if you tell.

Unfortunately, some adults may abuse the trust you give them. The person who touches you in a way you don't like is the person who is doing something wrong, not you. Sexual abuse is always the fault of the bigger, older, or stronger person. Do not blame yourself and don't allow anyone to blame you.

See related Patient Textbooks about Pediatrics.

See related Patient Topics Child Abuse, Child and Teen Health, Child Safety, Food, Nutrition and Metabolism, General, Injuries and Wounds, Pediatrics, Safety or Social/Family Issues.

See related Provider Textbooks about Pediatrics.

See related Provider Topics Child Abuse, Child and Teen Health, Food, Nutrition and Metabolism, General, Injuries and Wounds, Pediatrics, Safety or Social/Family Issues.

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